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Post by smith on May 18, 2005 5:26:46 GMT -5
What path would Katharine have taken if she hadn't met Spencer . Would she have met someone else? Maybe she would have married Robert McKnight or Garson?
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Post by alucino on May 18, 2005 8:21:57 GMT -5
Whether she would have met someone else I don't want to suspect about, but if she would have met someone else I think she wouldn't marry. She didn't seem to like marriage that much and I can't picture her in one either (except from luddy...).
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Post by karina on May 19, 2005 0:26:50 GMT -5
I agree with alucino, I doubt very much whether she would have remarried. However, I'm sure she'd have had several relationships, whether short or longer term. As to whether or not she'd have met an alternative love of her life had Spencer not been in the picture, well your guess is as good as mine - how can we ever know?
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Post by Cate on May 19, 2005 13:21:38 GMT -5
That is an interesting thought... I think it's also interesting that for almost forty years she never found another love after Spencer died. I wonder if she would have married him if he had divorced Louise?
Catherine
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Post by smith on May 20, 2005 5:44:50 GMT -5
Well for a start Katharine didn't know she was going to live for another 36 years . But I am sure for whatever reason she just didn't want another relationship . And I doubt she was capable of having another relationship . I have seen some letters where she discussed this issue .
In the Donahue interview she said she would have married Spencer if he had insisted on it
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Post by Cate on May 20, 2005 12:41:06 GMT -5
A person doesn't have to know their life expectancy in order to find new love. She was only 60 when he died. Many older people have significant others. Just because you're old doesn't mean you don't have passion. Even if it requires a little help... i.e. viagra. Which, by the way, is covered by insurance but birth control isn't (in the US anyway). Men still rule the planet. Not that I'm a man-hating female, but I still think it's funny. Promote sexual energy but keep those babies coming in an already over-populated world!
Catherine
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Post by smith on May 20, 2005 14:20:52 GMT -5
Catherine,
Email is an inexact form of communication . When I said she wasn't capable of having another relationship I meant that emotionally she wasn't capable . I don't think she ever seriously considered another relationship . In one of the letters I have seen she talked about how difficult it was to cope without a partner after being in a relationship for so long . Years later she wrote to the same friend whose husband had died and recommended that she didn't go out and find another partner because some people can't be replaced .
I think Katharine thought when Spencer died that time was running out for her as well .
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Post by Judy on May 20, 2005 19:25:15 GMT -5
Catherine: This is maybe a bit off the topic, but here's what I think about men and women. It is much more the norm for men who have lost longtime spouses or partners to marry again - and rather quickly - than it is for women. Not that there aren't exceptions to this, but this is just what I see in life. I think it has to do with women being able to develop support systems (other women friends, family) in their lives that men just don't, as a rule. So when a spouse dies, while both men and women experience loneliness, women seem to be able to cope with it better. I always think about men like Al Hirschfeld, Hume Cronyn, Garson Kanin - all married for a million years, and happily, to their wives. And within a very short time of their wives' deaths, they each remarried.
I KNOW this is a broad generalization, but I think there's some truth to it.
I don't think Kate would have turned down an opportunity for companionship (I believe she remained close to Luddy and saw him frequently after Spencer died), but I just don't think she went out looking for it after Spencer died. Certainly not for the same kind of companionship she had with him.
JS
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Post by Sherry on May 20, 2005 22:34:34 GMT -5
Have to agree with Judy on this. Women usually cope better with losing a spouse than do men and for all of the reasons mentioned. Spence was the love of her life -- that's a commitment that goes beyond his death. Kate stated at one point in her life that she never wanted to become a serial 'marrier' as so many in her profession had. With that in mind I doubt that she was a candidate for serial relationships or even one once she had been essentially married to one man for 27 years.
When people love one another, the loving doesn't stop with the death of one and from all accounts, Kate loved and mourned Spencer until the day she died. I doubt that anyone could ever have taken even a piece of her heart after Spence. I think she liked male companionship and enjoyed working with men for the 38 years after Spencer died but I think her heart was always with him and no one else would ever have been able to get close enough to change that situation. Soulmates are exactly that -- the other part if you. I think that's what Kate had with Spence.
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Post by smith on May 21, 2005 21:46:09 GMT -5
I believe that Katharine once jokingly asked Max Showalter to marry her . He said, I thought you didn't believe in marriage and she said, well I am entitled to change my mind .
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Post by Cate on May 22, 2005 1:14:07 GMT -5
Yeah, I agree that women seem to cope better emotionally for the most part. Email is an inexact way to communicate obviously, since I didn't even think of the fact that she could have been in mourning all those years although that is a long time to mourn over the death of a loved one. But theirs was a long relationship and she obviously cared for him immensely. At that age I guess you wouldn't need to look for another love since you've already experienced one for almost thirty years. It is interesting that men always seem to remarry rather quickly.. and it's always interpreted as a replacement... and maybe for the most part it is! But if they're both happy, that's all that matters... The whole Luddy relationship is cute. He seemed to be like a puppy. He doted on her and after forty years she finally returned it... somewhat. Catherine
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Post by smith on May 22, 2005 2:44:29 GMT -5
Its interesting that most of the descriptions of Luddy are from Katharine's point of view . I have seen some contemporary descriptions and according to his colleagues he was well respected and a successful businessman . Apparently he was fairly secure in himself and didn't feel the need to constantly compete with Katharine (which is just as well) He seems to have been one of those rare individuals who helped Katharine at a crucial time and then they both moved on . Amazing .
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